October update: exploring work and identity

ft. this month in photos(!)

Nov 01, 2022

Here’s a photo I took of the Golden Gate Bridge at Golden Gate Overlook this month with my big girl camera

Dearest friends,

Here’s a question that’s been living in my head rent-free this month: When does your work define your identity?

This month, I’ve been feeling very occupied with work – in a good way. I love the nature of the work that I do.

At the same time, I enjoy my never-ending list of hobbies that make up my time outside of work: reading, writing, hiking, cooking, home barista-ing, thrifting, learning languages, etc. So while I’ve done my best to maintain an equilibrium between work and life, I’ve mainly been unintentionally leaning toward work recently.

I’ve always wanted to be an interesting person with an identity. If you strip my 9-5 work from me, I like what is left to be substantive. Sometimes, I fear that it isn’t. I’ve spent so much time thinking about the solution-seeking problems at work and the roadmap for my career that I’d often neglect the simple joys in life, like cooking a nice meal at home or mindlessly doodling a fictitious illustration.

Going into my first full-time role, I wanted interests and hobbies outside work. After all, as much as I enjoyed my job and the work, I didn’t want it to define me. For me, WLB is about having a separate life outside of work – having an identity built up by a unique mix of hobbies, experiences, and interactions.

I read an interesting article about the new age of work where people are “quiet quitting.” In other words, do the bare minimum – do what your work asks of you, nothing more. I sometimes wonder if my yearning to do more than more is just who I am, what my parents and teachers instilled in me, or what society has taught me was the ideal model. More so than that, I think about if this approach is ok. Some people think it’s sad that American society has these values. The idea that Americans live to work and Italians work to live best embodies this. Is it wrong that I don’t hate working and feel fulfilled by it? My work ladders explicitly to the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (or so I believe). I think that’s what I strive for and what my work delivers.

Nowadays, I feel like there’s not much time to live a life unique to me so long as I’m working a full-time job. I get tired after work. I have a different list of responsibilities, including chores, to take care of. Sometimes it feels like there’s no time for any of my hobbies – they’ve just become a nice-to-have facet of my life.

Looking back at this month

I did manage to explore a lot of places and sneak in time for fun activities. In celebration of that, here are 15 things I’ve enjoyed this month in no particular order:

1. My first Giants baseball game

Did I understand anything that was going on? No! But I had a splendid time with the girls watching from the very top seats.

2. My first Fleet Week

Couldn’t see a thing since it was such a foggy day, but the vibes were great 👌

3. Celebrating UT’s win against OU (49-0!)

The UT alumni group in SF organized an OU watch party at a bar in Ghirardelli Square. It’s been a while since I’ve seen that much burnt orange in one room. Something about seeing this community of UT alumni across generations gathering together miles away from Austin made me feel warm and FUZZY 🥰.

4. A Fresh bouquet of flowers

I used to think flowers were a waste of money because they die a few days later. But I’ve begun to appreciate how much beauty and freshness they add to any room even if it is short-lived.

A beautiful arrangement by the Flower Corner

5. My first Michelin Star restaurant

S and I went to Benu – a three-Michelin star restaurant that serves Asian American fusion food. The service was incredible, but I quickly validated that I don’t have refined enough tastebuds to truly appreciate rich people's food.

Pictured: Frog leg covered in something, I already forgot what it is. Probably something I can’t pronounce.

6. Stand-up Comedy in a Speakeasy

S took me to a comedy show by Setup Comedy as one of his birthday month surprises.

7. Tiny Crocheted Succulents

Let me tell you, I was overcome with pure, unfiltered JOY upon seeing these little crocheted succulents at the Head West Marketplace in Hayes Valley.

Little succulents and cacti from WHouse SF!! 🪴

I got this little guy which now happily sits on my desk

8. Halloween-themed donuts

One of my newfound appreciations is people’s holiday spirit – I love it when bakeries and cafes get creative and change their menus to become holiday-themed.

This donut was from D.R.E.A.M. Doughnuts at the Ferry Building Farmers’ Market

9. Trader Joe’s Butternut Squash Mac & Cheese

This was my first time eating the famous butternut squash mac & cheese. Now I understand what the hype’s all about :)

10. Homemade pesto pasta dish

S made this for me as part of my birthday month celebrations. I think cooking food for other people is one of the best ways of letting them know you love them.

11. Fitzgerald Marine Reserve

Another park checked off the list ✔️

A beautiful cypress forest right by the shore

12. Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Patch

Feeling festive, my friends and I went to the Andreotti pumpkin patch in Half Moon Bay.

13. Building a lego set

S got me this kit for my birthday since he knows how much I love building legos (I realize I’m really exposing myself rn.) I’m highlighting it this month because of how cute and creative this set is AND how therapeutic it was to assemble this one evening after work.

This is by far one of the cutest lego sets I’ve ever assembled – they’re Lego succulents!!!!

14. Hiking Land’s End

I really appreciate it when cities plan and protect green spaces within the city. Land’s End is just one among many recreational parks in SF.

Two seals perched on a rock moments before they slip into the water at Land’s End

15. Bouldering with friends

Bouldering feels like an athletic puzzle – I think that’s why I really enjoy it. Each path is a unique puzzle to be solved, its difficulty is dependent on your build and ability. This was my first bouldering experience in SF.

Not pictured but equally enjoyed:

Walking around downtown in San Mateo
Sam’s Chowder House in Half Moon Bay
Burmese Superstar on Clement St.
Mellow Haight Plant Shop
Book Lovers by Emily Henry

Things I’m looking forward to next month

Biking around the Bay (I just bought an e-bike!)
More bouldering – I’m growing into the ultimate SF techie type
Reading Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
Turning 23 🥳

Onwards, to November. Go vote! 🗳

Sincerely,
Kaci